a bourbon and a bath

I know this pretty amazing girl, but she's in a lot of pain. Many of her friends (actually most of them) couldn't do what she does. She fights a real battle every day. Yeah, did I mention she's pretty amazing?

I was trying to think about what gave me hope when I was in a dark space and didn't have any. I couldn't remember who I was, what I was good at, why anyone would like me, or what I used to enjoy doing - it just seemed buried somewhere in me. What gave me hope were people who cared to pick up a shovel and help me dig and get that stuff back.

There was no expectation on me to do anything. I didn't have energy to respond. I needed to spend it on more critical things, but that didn't bother them. So this is just one way for me to show I care. You can visit it anytime you want or not, but I'll still update it daily. It's just a reminder of all the good things that you are and all the things you can do, that you are capable of.

I wish I knew how to take away this pain, Lisa. I can't fix this, but I will be here shovel in hand so you don't have to go through this alone. This isn’t any kind of burden for me, because I love who you are very much. And every time I remind you, I get to remember with you, which is my pleasure.

take care! allen

Flowers for Lisa - July 29, 2013

Hi Lisa,

I wanted to give you flowers today so when you wake up on Tuesday it’s the first thing you can see so you can be reminded of all the great memories you had with Lauryn. You’re turning yourself around to see the future, but I still look forward to hearing more stories about Lauryn. You are on the right track. I love you Allen

Flowers for Lisa - July 8, 2013

Hey Lisa,

Congratulations on completing the workshop! I know how hard this workshop has been for you and I’m so proud you committed to a goal and completed it. It’s a huge accomplishment and it’s important to realize what this represents – a brighter future for you. I hope you feel a stronger relationship with yourself and the confidence to take on your next goal. I’m so proud of you.

Love you to the moon and back. 

We have to go for what we think we’re fully capable of, not limit ourselves by what we’ve been in the past.

—Vivek Paul (via littlemiss)

Flowers for Lisa - Weekend of May 10, 2013

Hey Lisa,


I know this is a difficult weekend for you. I refuse to pretend it didn’t happen, I want you to know you are the best mother I know. I am thinking about you and Lauryn this weekend. I am happy you are beginning to remember more positive memories of Lauryn. I know Lauryn gave you so much happiness, but please also know she was blessed to have the best mother too. You are on the right track.


I love you.